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Tuesday, October 11th 2011

Magazine

Brussels society

It is quite fashionable to refer to « Brussels » as a vague and disembodied entity. According to several medias or to some people like you and me, Brussels' purpose is (very) questionable and the way it functions is simply unknown. It is sometimes perceived as the Death Star in Star Wars or even The Lord of the Rings' Mordor : a mysterious place where some illegitimate power is implemented (by who?) and is imposed to every European citizen.

By Piotr Gonzalez Van de Poulsen


© Photos Libres - www.photo-libre.fr
© Photos Libres - www.photo-libre.fr
How often have we heard on TV or during informal chats at the pub the following formulas : « Brussels decided to... (reduce grants...for example)» or « What can we do about it ? Everything's decided by Brussels... » ? To sum up it remains quite hard to put names and faces on decisions taken in (by?) Brussels.    
 
WHO ARE YOU BRUSSELS' PEOPLE? 

We're not talking here about famous political characters such as european commissioners or MEPs but more about anonymous people whose function is pretty obscure and who are employed by lobbies, NGOs, communication agencies, consultancies or work as parliamentary assistants (Let's not forget their « Mini-me » trainee fellas).
 
What are the habits of this quite unknown part of Brussels' population ? How do people who can have a big influence on various decision-making processes going from the size of compact energy-saving fluorescent tubes to the amount of european grants a fig producer located in Algarve will receive live ? 
 
The EU expressed on several occasions the will to communicate better on its achievements. But let's face it : the average man doesn't have a clue of what this new « proletariat » (Yes, indeed) daily life consists of.   
 
HOW TO LIVE WITH THE BRUSSELS' TOUCH
 
For those who wish to work at some point in Brussels within the small EU affairs world, or for those who are just looking for informations regarding EU on the new G112 website, you'd better know that the « Brussels society » members somehow live according to the following rules. And these are also reasons why we love Brussels' people very much. (No doubt about it, some of you, dear readers, will feel wery familiar with Brussels society description).
 
  • Members of Brussels society often have multiple citizenships. For instance they have a Spanish father, a Swedish mother but by any chance they are born in Canada and have lived there until they are 10 years old.


  • Consequently, members of Brussels society are able to speak many languages (at least five, English not included of course). They were also quite smart at school and had many opporunities to travel.


  • Members of Brussels society are alive CV's : every occasioon must be seized to mention they graduated with a PHD in « Business/Psycholgy/Astrophysics » of McNorwood University (It HAS to be an English-speaking University, preferably located in North America).


  • Those people are often in a hurry and they wear their badge walking down the streets. They carry lots of other things : their luggage (they often come to work « directly » from the airport), a pile of important documents, a cup of coffee bought at Starbuck's, a smartphone, a cigarette...OMG, give them a break, they just don't have arms enough ! No need to say Members of Brussels society wear suits and they walk heavily with noisy shoes.


  • Members of BS (they also like abbreviations) really appreciate to meet up in « Irish style » pubs. Perfect setting for a nice chat with international friends : many TVs turned on, uncomfortable leather chairs, an old pool table, gloomy light and some other people shouting.


  • Members of BS go to Place du Luxembourg after work on Thursdays because it's great to drink a tasteless beer being surrounded by cars. Here I find you, merciless networking world. Please get prepared and train your best « Hi, Where are you from ? ».


  • Older members of BS behave in a similar way on Wednesdays at Place du Chatelain (or everyday at Place de Londres ). No need to mention drinks are more expensive there. There never forget you must drink wine and give up your trainee's habits.


  • These people have jobs that seem quite complicated to explain concretely : they are « project managers », « policy analysts », « desk assistants », « PR consultants », « developers », « audit managers » or « program officers ».


  • BS people use a strange English vocabulary. The expressions they use are either complicated (stakeholders, benchmarks, feedback, sustainable, Europe 2020) or quite simple (for example « Nice place » or « I love Paris »).


  • To conclude, BS members sometimes sound like they live in a closed world guided by EU BS standards : « Oh great you're a trainee in Brussels... At the Commission or at the Parliament ? What about going tonight to this nice place called Delirium ? » (For those who live in Brussels, I know you all went there at least once right after your arrival).



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